March 20, 1997
NUGGETS IN FOR WHIPPING
By CHRIS STEVENSON
Ottawa Sun
The road weary Dawson City Nuggets will board the Nuggets Special this morning in The Big Smoke and ride the rails to Bytown to meet their destiny, which, of course, will be the exact same destiny which awaited them when they made the same trek 92 years ago, which is to say they are going to have their butts, already numb from riding skidoos, a ferry, a bus and the rails for the last 20 days, rendered dimpled in a first-class butt-kicking at the feet of the supremely skilled and merciless Ottawa Senators Alumni.
Sorry, Nuggets, but getting here will be all the fun.
Larry Skinner, scorer of the first goal in Colorado Rockies history (that would be the Rockies of the National Hockey League, boys, back in the days of the Original 18), now a member of the Senators Alumni and the Sun's circulation department, brother-in-law to Sun scribe Earl McRae who is journeying eastward with the Nuggets as you read this, accorded a rare and revealing interview yesterday.
"Larry," said your humble correspondent, "the last time the Nuggets dragged their sorry butts here to our glorious capital, the Senators whipped them 23-2 in the second and last game of the Stanley Cup challenge and sent them back to their frozen homeland suffering from a humiliation that endures to this day. Your prediction for Sunday's game, 2 p.m. at the world-class hockey emporium known as the Corel Centre?"
Larry looked up from flexing his bulging biceps, which twitched like two grizzly bears wrestling under a canvas tent, bronzed under the Carribean sun where he has been secretly working out to prepare for Sunday's big game.
"Huh?" asked Larry.
"The Nuggets. 23-2 the last time. You're going to do the same thing this time, right?"
Larry squinted menacingly, his goatee bristling. "It's gotta be pretty similar," he said. "Especially after last night's workout. Marshy (Senators centre of the spiritual universe, Brad Marsh) has got us going two a day. But, the final battle is yet to come."
You don't get insight like that just anywhere, folks.
It can be revealed now that the Senators Alumni have recruited Vancouver Canucks pro scout and 14-year NHLveteran Noel Price to work their bench.
High-level talks have already begun to fine tune the Alumni's line combinations.
It is no secret the Alumni's awesome attack revolves around former Senators captain Laurie Boschman, a guy who looks like he could still be playing in the NHL and probably will be -- if he wants to -- after the next expansion.
"Who was that guy who scored 14 goals the last time?" wondered Larry.
"One-Eyed Frank McGee," he was told.
"Yeah. Well, Bosch is going to be our Frank McGee. He could have 14. He's flyin'."
Of course, given that the Nuggets have invested most of their energy, willpower and a boxcar full of linament getting here, One-Eyed Frank McGee, if he were still alive, would probably still be good for a couple against the weary Nuggets squad.
They've been travelling for almost three weeks, nothing but a couple of ball hockey games early in the trip passing for conditioning and what else do you do to the sound of the soothing clickety-clack of steel on steel and the sight of dancing lights slipping by wide windows as you roar through the night of a sleeping countryside?
Yup, stay up late and have a bunch of beers or something.
Not that there's anything wrong with that (it actually sounds great), but that's probably not the best way to hone your skills and focus your mind for a meeting with a team as awesomely endowed as the Senators Alumni.
In a moment of weakness, Skinner's goatee lost some of its bristle. His biceps slackened.
"To tell you the truth, we don't know what to expect," he said, his voice lowered to a whisper.
"Those guys look pretty rough and rugged. They've all got those big beards in the pictures. Even Earl's got one."
Skinner's moment of doubt passed quickly, like a cloud before the sun.
His biceps inflated again.
"Some of us will be down there to meet them at the train today. Wearin' our sweaters. Lookin' 'em in the eye."
He got back the Senators Alumni swagger, the confidence that will carry our home side to another historic victory which will leave the Yukoners wincing for another 92 years.
"If it's 23-2 again, I think they should have to go back the same way they came -- and Earl has to go with them."
e-mail ceejaystev@aol.com
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