Will hammering history repeat itself?

By EARL McRAE
Ottawa Sun FINALLY.
  At 2 o'clock this afternoon Diamond Tooth Gertie will sing O Canada accompanied by Willie Gordon on the fiddle, and the puck will be dropped for The Challenge Of The Century.
  I was going to phone Dawson City Nuggets coach Wes "The Mumbler" Peterson this morning with a very important question.
  "Good morning, Wes. As you know, in 1905 the Nuggets got hammered in Sam Casey's saloon the night before the second and final game and then got hammered in another fashion 23-2.
  "The only case in recorded history of two distinctly different hammerings being scored within an hour since, as evidence showed, most of the Nuggets were still on the first hammering when they took the ice for the second hammering.
  "One-Eyed Frank McGee did, indeed, score 14 goals against your guys for a Stanley Cup record that still stands, but, Wes, have you thought of this? Have you thought of the Stanley Cup record your guys set?
  "The Stanley Cup record your guys set is the only team in recorded history to play a game under the withering effects of not one hammering, but two hammerings happening at the same time.
  "To get hammered the way they got hammered while being hammered the way they were still hammered is one hell of a proud achievement of human endurance.
  "Which brings me, Wes, to my question. Last night at the Westin Hotel. The big Klondike Blowout bash. You and your players were there.
  "So, what I'm asking is this: Did you, Wes Peterson, coach of the 1997 Dawson City Nuggets, set an early curfew for your players so as not to risk the double hammering of 1905?
  "Did you send the boys to bed early with hot chocolate and moose jam on toast?
  "Did you check under the chesterfield in the hotel lobby to make sure general manager Earl McKenzie didn't have a few dozen bottles of whisky hidden there by his friend George Abermath who left a bottle of hooch for him in that snowdrift beside the Klondike Highway?
  "Did you check behind the curtains in the rooms to make sure Abermath himself wasn't hanging around, holding a large, lumpy, and clanging duffel bag?
  "Did you pull back the bed covers of your players to make sure all those snoring sounds were from the guys and not from a load of tape recorders they'd stuck under the eiderdowns; or from a bunch of Cowboy Larry Smith's dogs they'd smuggled into their rooms?
  "Answer me, Wes, answer me.
  "The people of the Yukon want victory this time, not a hammering because of a hammering."
  Like I said, I was going to phone The Mumbler this morning -- but I didn't.
  Here's why I didn't: Moe's World Famous Restaurant on Friday night. The huge party for the Nuggets. The Mumbler and I got talking. Earlier that afternoon, coach Mumbler's team played a game at the Sandy Hill Arena against the media.
  "How did the game go, coach?"
  "I think we won."
  "Think? But, you're the coach."
  "I wasn't there."
  "You weren't there?"
  "Nope."
  Here is why coach Mumbler wasn't there: Immediately before the Nuggets game, the Senators Alumni Team had a practice.
  As the Senators were leaving the building, four of them spotted The Mumbler. The four were John Barrett, Fred Barrett, Larry Skinner and Gerry Armstrong. They got talking and 10 minutes later, they were all in a bar; the four Sens and coach Mumbler.
  You got it.
  While his team played hockey, the coach was in a pub, fraternizing with the enemy.
  Explained the coach: "Hey, they invited me; d'ya think I'm gonna pass up the opportunity to have a few social pints with those guys?"
  Certainly not.
  And, before you Nuggets fans start hammering (oops!) Wes for going AWOL, hear him out.
  "I, uh, was picking up valuable scouting info for the big game."
  And, if he's still given a hard time, he can always point to one of the guys the Nugs will be playing against today, Bob Charlebois.
  Bob showed up at Moe's restaurant for the Nugs party. "I'm, er, just spying on their drinking habits," he said taking a hefty hit of beer. "I could get shipped to the Nuggets for this."
  Right. Charlebois for Peterson. Straight up. The trade that is.

Earl McRae's column appears on Page 3 Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. To leave Earl a message at the Sun, call 739-5133, ext. 469.